


Everybody Pees

by TheTimelessChild0



Series: Omovember 2020 [13]
Category: House M.D.
Genre: Autistic Greg House, Awkward Greg House, Caring James Wilson (House M.D.), Omovember 2020, Urination, omovember 13, scared to speak up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27555745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/TheTimelessChild0
Summary: Another constant, one House doesnotseem to believe in.
Series: Omovember 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987816
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Everybody Pees

The Ducklings were being particularly stupid today. If he had a dollar for every time he had to shoot down their ideas, he could buy all the cough drops he would need to keep himself from getting a sore throat. Instead, he chugged on his water.

That turned out to be a mistake. He could almost feel the water passing through the ureters into his bladder, and the muscles lining its walls stretching to fit the fluid.

Chase suggested a urinary issue. Made sense, given his chosen field of study, but it could not have come at a worse time. 

Especially given his concentration level was twice as bad as it was usually, so his put down came out half-assed and vague. 

Cameron rebutted instantly. He tried again.

Foreman pulled attention away from him, allowing him to move to his heart’s content.

The ensuing argument flared up in House’s remaining deductive ability.

He pushed his chair closer to the table, pressing his lower body down on it, in agony.

“You okay?” Cameron worried.

“I’m fine,” he spat dryly. 

* * *

The meeting continued with House continuing to writhe in discomfort.

“If you want we can take a break,” Chase offered.

“I’m swell, thanks,” G smiled sarcastically.

Cameron looked at her boss. His leg was bouncing.

“Greg, do you need to pee?” she asked suddenly. 

That shut down all the shields. 

“Probably a good idea,” House reasoned, getting up. Only, in his quest to keep his pants dry, his cane had ended up very close to a placement between his legs. So when he stood, the cane tripped him up. The pain in the leg plus the distance equalled force too great for his bladder to bear. He placed his cane deliberately between his legs, or  _ rather, _ in front of the large wet spot that had now formed.

He hurried out of the room before they could see. 

* * *

By the time he got to the restroom, he was already  _ done _ . 

“Well, isn’t that  _ lovely _ ,” he sighed, entering a stall. 

Back in the office, Chase was scratching his head.

“Am I the only one who’s not surprised this happened?” he thought out loud.

“What do you mean?” Cameron inquired.

“House has proven himself free of society’s chains. But he’s put his own on in return. Think about it. Have you guys ever seen him take a break while you’re around?” 

“Well...no,” Foreman admitted.

“Exactly,”

Chase headed out the door to check up on House. He made a mental note of the fact that his boss responded to his first name uttered, for the first time ever. Never had that happened for as long as the Aussie had worked there.

He ran into Dr Wilson, seemingly looking for House.

“He’s in the bathroom,” he informed the oncologist.

“Where he will remain for the considerable future,” James sighed.

“What makes you say that?” Chase knew the man was cutting it kinda close, but surely he’d be back in a few minutes, compulsively keeping his cane over his crotch,  _ for no reason whatsoever _ .

“Well...the puddles of his urine kind of gives it away,” he remarked, pointing out the trail leading to the bathroom. Essentially, House had emptied at least half his bladder while in motion.

_ Grey floors _ .  _ Wonderful _ .  _ Makes it so much easier to see if he’s dehydrated _ , Chase griped. 

* * *

The urologist entered the bathroom with a pair of pants fetched from the lost and found by Wilson.

“Greg, you can’t hide in here forever,” he implored the frequently unreasonable man to see reason.

  
“I will if you keep using my name,” Dr House complained. “You’re lucky I’m naked from the waist down or I’d come out and slap you.

“It’s your name, House; you shouldn’t deny the fact it belongs to  _ you _ . It is you,” Chase pointed out.

“I am not a Greg,” Greg protested dryly.

“That’s what this is about? Being named something that you didn’t expect to suit you until you were a boring man in a suit. Suppose that explains why you never wear a lab coat. Rebelling against, and I’m gonna take a wild guesstimate here...your father,” Robert concluded. “I know a little something about that,”

“Yes, I recall. I also recall you entering without explaining why you are here,” House adjusted the topic of conversation.

“Oh, I brought you some clean trousers,” Chase explained. “Wanna open up that door, so I can give them to you?”

Greg complied. 

“You missed a spot,” the younger doctor noted. There was a small red patch on the man’s inner thigh.

“That’s always been there,” he lied.

“Hypocrite,” Chase grumbled, rubbing lotion on it.

“Babysitter,” House countered.

* * *

While House changed, Dr Chase spoke with Wilson.

“It’s not entirely unforeseen,” he admitted.

“You mean on account of his shyness?” 

James looked briefly shocked but nodded.

“House isn’t deliberately trying to hurt himself. He feels that if he gives himself a break that would make him a hypocrite, given how he treats you guys,” 

“Well that’s rubbish,” Chase noted.

“I know. It’s part of his crusade in social norms. He doesn’t understand the neurotypical urge to state urges, much less ask permission to deal with them. It’s a hugely convoluted contradiction,” Wilson agreed.

* * *

It was another meeting. House was bouncing his leg. Chase cleared his throat. House tapped his pen once on the table. Chase answered. 

“Okay, five-minute recess, Dr Chase needs to change his tampon,” he quipped maliciously. 

But there was no malice in the phrase. It was the new system. House would call for a break, a totally new whim of his, and deflect attention away from this development. 

The pen is to indicate how long he will be gone, and when to look for him. Cameron is an allergy expert and thus could handle the  _ bigger _ things...and Foreman is a cardiologist so if he trips from something happening in the veins of his mangled leg, they had an EMT on-site.

“I’m gonna go use the restroom,” he plainly spoke once. “Keep doing what you’re doing,”

No one spoke, no one looked, no one cared.

The End.


End file.
